It's difficult to predict how quickly our child or we will become aware. This blog discusses the time and effort required to teach children and yourself mindfulness and awareness, and one very important step- finding the triggers.
What is a Trigger?
A trigger is something that causes a child, adult, or anyone to feel an emotion other than calm or content. It can push us into an unhappy state, create a fuzzy mind, or, in terms of the Zones of Regulation, place us in the yellow, blue, or red zone. Triggers can range from seeing a long list of chores and becoming overwhelmed to receiving an email with the news you were not expecting. A crucial aspect of helping your child regulate their emotions and behavior is understanding their triggers.
Where do I/We Start?
Create a list of triggers with your child, your spouse/partner, yourself and identify the things that trigger all of you - something as simple as a list. This collaborative approach ensures that your child doesn't feel targeted and realizes that everyone has situations that cause feelings of anxiety, nervousness, anger, sadness, and more.
Recently I told my children, "I get triggered when you ask me to do something while I'm in the middle of another task. You can help me by waiting until I'm finished to ask for help. This way, I don't yell or get frustrated as easily, and it helps our family stay in the happy, content or “green zone". (yes, this is a true story.)
Once you understand your child's triggers, you can support them by preparing them for these situations. Develop a plan for handling their feelings and emotions, which helps them be present, understand their environment, and navigate it effectively.
Example:
My child's trigger is math. Whenever he comes in from recess, he says he feels depressed or sad because it's math time. Before he goes off to school we discuss using breathing techniques, taking breaks, and other strategies we've practiced, helping him calm his body. He understands that if he has a negative or fuzzy mind, he won't learn properly. It doesn't work 100% of the time, but since we've been working on it, he has shown significant progress in math overall. It just takes time.
Conclusion
Try this approach and see if it helps, but remember, everything takes time. Progress won't happen overnight, but with practice, these strategies can become permanent parts of your child's behavior. Good luck!
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